Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected. - Robert Orben
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben
Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral. - Robert Orben
Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away. - Robert Orben
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. - Robert Orben
Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. - Robert Orben
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. - Robert Orben
Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. - Robert Orben
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben
To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben
These detective series on TV always end at precisely the right moment-after the criminal is arrested and before the court turns him loose. - Robert Orben